Cutting the Cheese

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Wahahahaha!!! Aaah~ I love my brother. Sorry, little bro, but I just had to share this little scene with everyone…

My brother was watching the television this afternoon after church, and I was cleaning up some mess around the living room. All of a sudden, I heard a LOUD oinky farrrrrt.

Well, it wasn’t me. I glanced at my brother, and he was lying on the couch in an unnaturally rigid position, his eyes glued to the TV screen, pretending as if nothing happened at all.

He was watching the History Channel, so I knew it wasn’t from the TV, unless the channel was featuring the History of Obnoxious Farts. Now, considering how much I burp, I would usually let a fart go unnoticed, but seeing my brother so desperately holding on to his integrity…I started cracking up, and exclaimed, “Oh come on! It’s just the two of us…who else can it be? A ghost?”

My brother started protesting that it wasn’t him, but then gave up and started laughing as well. I’m still chuckling to myself as I’m writing this.

But it got me thinking…why is burping and farting in public such taboo? Isn’t it such a naturally incurring thing? Is there any human being who have never farted or burped in his/her life? Even Obama farts! And I’ll bet so does that famous vampire…what’s his name? Robert Patterson? (Sorry, not a Twilight fan)

But anyway, I digress…On to FOOD.

Today was another quick and simple wrap before heading out to church. I had some shiitake mushrooms needing to be used, so I based my creation around that. Shiitake mushrooms have a rather bold, earthy, Asian flavor, but I didn’t want my wrap to be too Asian. Thankfully, I had other ingredients in my fridge that would go well with shiitake…

Say hello to my friend, the roasted red pepper-artichoke tapenade, adopted from Trader Joe’s. You might remember him from this pasta I made before. I haven’t touched him since, but it was nice to have something ready-made in hand when I was in a rush like today.

Sautéed Shiitake, Goat Cheese, and Tapenade Wrap

1 rosemary wrap
TJ’s roasted red pepper-artichoke tapenade
olive oil
shiitake mushrooms, sliced
1 large clove of garlic, chopped
red onion, sliced
orange bell pepper, julienned
fresh dill, chopped
fresh lemon juice
salt and pepper
lots of fresh goat cheese

Spread as much tapenade as you would like on the wrap. Meanwhile, heat up a pan with some olive oil. When the pan gets hot enough, sauté in the mushrooms, garlic, onions, and bell pepper. When the vegetables get soft and fragrant, sprinkle in the dill, lemon juice, and seasonings. This is how the shiitake stir-fry looks like:

And then, just spread the shiitake mixture onto the wrap, pile on the goat cheese, and wrap it up. I like my wraps toasted, so I heat both sides on a skillet.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure the flavors would work out, but it did! It was absolutely purrr-fect.

I loved the succulent meatiness of the shiitake…didn’t miss the meat at all! It married extremely well with the sweet bell peppers and onions, the tapenade, and the tangy goat cheese.

The last squeeze of lemon juice and the fresh dill really kicked it up a notch. Though, I think this would be 100 points if I had thought of adding a tiny sprinkle of crushed red pepper.

Anyway, guess what today is? The LAST DAY for submissions!!

Please, send them in as soon as possible so I can give your recipes my full attention and contemplation. If you send them in at 12:01 midnight, I guess I will still accept it, because I’m a generous soul and at least you’ve still submitted. So don’t be shy, submit, submit, submit!! I shall announce the winner tomorrow by evening, as well as the next host.

Question of the day: Sorry if this is gross to you, but I’ve got farts in my mind. Have you ever farted in public before? What did you do?

Here’s my fart story: I’m more of a burpy person than a farty person, but I remember once when I was in fifth grade. The kids were all lining up for recess, and I “accidentally” let out the stinkiest fart ever. But I was smart and wicked. I immediately sniffed the air, wrinkled my nose, and said in a loud voice, “Okay, who cut the cheese?” Everybody started blaming each other, and finally, the big sweaty boy beside me ended up getting all the blame. I felt really bad, but promptly forgot about it until I was reminded of it today. Aren’t I just evil?